|
While striving to become more like adults, looking for greater independence, and learning to become more self-reliant, children are also trying to facilitate relationships of equality with their parents. Goals like these, as reported by young people fairly universally, can affect how they disclose to their parents to a large degree.[27] Children's disclosures with their parents has been studied by many, especially recently, after the discoveries of disclosures' positive relationships with children's adjustment levels and psychological and physical health. Some go so far as to use the rate of self-disclosure between parents and children as a dominant measure of the strength of their relationship and its health.[28] Purpose of disclosure In adolescents' relationships with their parents, self-disclosure is thought to serve three key functions: Intimacy is promoted. When information is withheld, distance is created and closeness is nearly impossible to facilitate.[29] Autonomy is regulated. Teens pick and choose what to tell their parents, thus limiting their control over the teens' daily activities.[29] Individuation is heightened. Adolescents' unique preferences and interests are expressed. If these vary from their parents', they establish an identity of their own.[29] Children still attempt to maintain a certain amount of control over their parents' knowledge of their lives by monitoring how and when to disclose to them. Thus, they moderate their parents' potential reactions. Because of this, it is important for parents to be aware of how they react to their children's disclosures, for these reactions will be used as judgment calls for the children's' future sharing.[29] Reasons for disclosure Often, the reason for disclosing given by children in studies is based on the parent's expectations: "I've learned that [Mom or Dad] wants to have this information." This is adaptive, in that the child has learned what his or her parents want to know. Other times a reason is that the children do not want their parents to worry about them, and this is called parent-centered disclosures. Disclosing in order to make oneself feel better or to ensure protection from parents is considered to be another reason for youth to disclose, and it is called self-oriented disclosure. On a more manipulative level, some adolescents report telling their parents things based solely on gaining an advantage of some sort, whether this is the right to reveal less or the fact that being more open tends to result in more adolescent privileges. Sometimes children qualify their disclosures by merely stating that they only disclose what they feel they want to to their parents. Thus, some information is kept secret. This is dubbed selective self-disclosure. In sum, adolescents feel different pulls that make them self-disclose to their parents that can be based on the parents' needs and the children's needs. There has not been a distinct pattern found to predict which reasons will be utilized to explain disclosures by different children. For this reason it is widely believed that the reason for disclosure is largely situation- and context- dependent.[28] Benefits of disclosure The self-disclosure of children to their parents is the dominant source of information for parents to gain knowledge about their children and their daily lives. Parental knowledge of their children's whereabouts and daily lives has been linked to several positive outcomes. The more parents know about their kids, the lower the rate of behavior problems among children, and the higher the children's well-being. Adolescents who disclose have been found to have lower rates of substance abuse, lower rates of risky sexual behaviors, lower anxiety levels, and lower rates of depression.[27][29] Additionally, those who are well-adjusted, meaning they exhibit the qualities discussed above, generally want and enjoy parental involvement and are likely to disclose more.[29] In contrast, keeping secrets from one's parents has been linked to more physical illness, poor behavior, and depression in all cultural groups.[28] Many theorize that in at least one significant relationship one should feel able to disclose nearly completely in order for a healthy personality to develop.[29] While parental behavioral control was once thought to provide the greatest benefits to children in limiting their activities and serving as a source of forced protection, more recent research strongly suggests that disclosures to parents that provide the parents with information about daily activities actually shows the most promise in fostering positive development through childhood and adolescence.[27] Development of Reciprocity Reciprocity in children’s self-disclosures is often examined in children’s friendships. It has been shown that children’s understanding of friendship involves sharing secrets with another person. This mutual exchange of sharing secrets could be the norm of reciprocity, in which individuals disclose because it is a social norm. This norm of reciprocity is shown to begin occurring for children in sixth grade. Sixth graders are able to understand the norm of reciprocity because they realize that relationships require both partners to cooperate and to mutually exchange secrets. They realize this because they possess the cognitive ability to take another person’s perspective into account and are able to understand a third person’s views which allows them to view friendships as an ongoing systematic relationship.[30] Children in sixth grade are also shown to understand equivalent reciprocity. Equivalent reciprocity requires matching the level of intimacy a partner discloses, therefore, a high-intimacy disclosure would be matched with an equally revealing disclosure while a low-intimacy disclosure would be matched with little information revealed. Another type of reciprocity is covariant reciprocity, in which disclosures are more intimate if a partner communicates a high-intimacy disclosure instead of a low-intimacy disclosure. This differs from equivalent reciprocity, which matches the level of intimacy, while covariant reciprocity only focuses on whether someone disclosed something personal or not. Covariant reciprocity is shown to begin in fourth grade.[30] It has also been shown that girls across all ages disclose more intimate information than boys, and that the number of disclosures a child reveals increases with age.[30] Factors influencing self-disclosure in children Early studies note two distinct factors that contribute to how much children self-disclose to their parents. The first is intraindividual factors, which are those that are on the child's mind and cause him or her to need social input. Biological development, cultural and social pressures, and individual maturity determine these issues, and, thus, a child's age, personality, and background also contribute to his or her level and need of self-disclose in a relationship with a parent.[29] The second set of factors is called contextual factors, which include the opportunities and situations that the individual has to disclose as created by the sociocultural environment. These are most directly related, then, to the target of the disclosure; these targets are the parents.[29] Also, gender contributes: girls are noted for usually disclosing their problems, mostly to their mothers, while boys reveal more about bad grades, behavioral conflicts, and other issues to both parents.[29] Certain people are more likely to get others to disclose. These are called high openers. Even people known to disclose very little are likely to disclose more to high openers. Thus, if parents are characterized as good listeners, trustworthy, accepting, relaxed, and sympathetic, as are high openers, then they will likely elicit more disclosure from their children. Adolescents who view their parents like this are also said to see them as less controlling and less likely to react negatively to their disclosures. Parental responsiveness has been said to be the dominant factor of influence on adolescents' rates of self-disclosure; warmth and affection facilitate more disclosures.[29] Parental psychological control has also been linked to increased self-disclosure of personal issues and peer issues among youth. While this sort of control is not often thought of in a positive light, some hypothesize that these kids are likely just feeling coerced to disclose subtly and without being harmed. Much of what children choose to reveal to their parents is based on previous disclosures and their parents' reactions to them.[28] Feelings about the parent-child relationship during one's upbringing have also be found to correlate with the child's disclosures to the parents. A child with a positive memory of his or her relationship with a parent during the past years is a predictor of a higher level of self-disclosure. In fact, the view of the parent-child relationship in the past is a stronger predictor than that of the child's view of the current parent-child relationship. The relationship with the mother, in particular, is extremely predictive of disclosures from adolescents. Such findings suggest to parents that fostering secure attachment early in their children will better set the stage for disclosures in the later years, and their children may then reap the benefits of such a relationship.[27] Adolescents are able to determine their own amount of parental authority over certain issues by how much or how little they choose to disclose to their parents.[29] Surveys revealed that they are least likely to share information that involves their personal feelings and activities. They actively resist disclosing this to their parents because they do not see the issues as being harmful, or they feel their parents will not listen to them, or because the matters are very private to them.[28] The way adolescents perceive their parents' authority as legitimate largely impacts how much they feel obligated to disclose to them. The more authority the children believe their parents rightly possess, the more obligation they perceive to share their lives accordingly.[28] Parents who attempt a large degree of psychological control over their children are unlikely to be disclosed to as frequently, which only makes logical sense given the fact that most children are searching for a sense of autonomy.[27] Interestingly, the adolescents have been found to feel the most obligation to tell their parents about such activities as drinking and smoking but less need to disclose information about personal issues. Not surprising either, less obligation is felt as age increases.[29] Contrary to popular belief though, most adolescents in the US do not consider themselves to be adults between the ages of 18 and 27, and their parents feel the same way. The age at which children feel they no longer are obligated to disclose to their parents has increased over time, and the same trend is predicted over the next few decades.[27] Often, the motivation to disclose negative behaviors is purely because the children fear that they will not get away with it or feel obligated to share. Adolescents also want to disclose more if they feel that the activities in question are out of their own jurisdiction. Jurisdiction is measured, in the adolescents' minds, as how short-term and close the activities are. Short-term, close activities are judged as ones to be handled without disclosure to parents, while activities that will take longer or require the adolescent to be farther from home are thought of as being issues to discuss with parents.[28] Inhibitors of children's disclosure[29] Certain events and characteristics of the parent-child relationship make disclosures unlikely: Mood: Nervous, angry, or unhappy parents make children less likely to disclose[29] Preoccupied: Parents who do not seem accessible to their children do not receive good disclosures[29] Reluctance: When parents seem unwilling to talk about problems or consistently avoid certain topics of conversation[29] Questioning: Adolescents are bothered by persistent questions that their parents ask of them[29] Respect: Children do not disclose as much if they feel their parents are not taking them seriously[29] Nagging: When parents seem to hag on unimportant matters, children become frustrated[29] Previous disapproval: Adolescents are not likely to disclose if their parents have previously expressed disapproval of a matter they wish to discuss[29] Factors that discourage future disclosures Certain events and characteristics of the parent-child relationship make the child less willing to disclose to that parent in the future: Distraction: If parents seem inattentive, the child is not likely to try to disclose in the future[29] Respect: Parents who make jokes about disclosures or tease their children discourage future discussions[29] Lack of trust: Children are not likely to disclose again when parents have shown doubt about their previous disclosures or checked the information that had been revealed[29] Interrupting: Parents who interrupt their children do not encourage future disclosure[29] Lack of relatability: Children will not disclose again if they feel their parents did not try to understand their position in previous disclosures[29] Lack of receptivity: Parents who seem not to care about the child's thoughts on matters and who will not listen to arguments discourage future disclosure[29] Confidentiality: Children feel less inclined to disclose in the future if their parents do not keep their disclosures confidential[29] Emotion: Parents who have angry outbursts do not encourage further disclosures from their children[29] Consequences: Disclosures that resulted in punishment serve has discouragement for future disclosures. Additionally, long lectures from parents are not viewed as favorable[29] Disappointment: When disclosure has made a parent disappointed or sad in his or her child, the child feels less inclined to disclose again[29] Silence: Parents who respond to a disclosure with the silent treatment are unlikely to facilitate later disclosures[29] Withholding permission: If earlier disclosure resulted in parents withholding permissions for children to participate in their desired activities, the children often do not disclose such information again later[29] Facilitators of children's self-disclosure Certain events and characteristics of the parent-child relationship make disclosures likely: Mood: Positive moods (happy and relaxed) in parents make adolescents likely to begin to disclose[29] Accessibility: When parents seem ready and able to chat without doing other things, children want to disclose to them[29] Opportunities: Parents who make time for the child, initiate conversations, and prompt disclosures (perhaps with humor) usually facilitate disclosures from their children[29] Reciprocal disclosure: Children are encouraged if their parents choose to reveal things about themselves[29] Questions: Open-ended questions give adolescents motivation to disclose[29] Attention to child's mood: When parents recognize the affective state of a child, the child feels cared for and is likely to be open to discussing the causes of that mood[29] Unconditional disclosure: Children feel encouraged to disclose when parents make a point of telling the child to reveal himself or herself no matter what[29] Pace: Letting children choose how and how fast they disclose makes them more likely to reveal things to their parents[29] Factors that encourage future disclosures Certain events and characteristics of the parent-child relationship make the child more likely to disclose to that parent in the future: Support: Previous disclosures that have made the child feel emotionally supported positively affect whether or not he or she will disclose to a parent again[29] Humor: Parents who can appreciate humor in disclosure, where appropriate, encourage the child to disclose again[29] Reciprocity: Parental disclosure makes a child more likely to disclose to that parent again[29] Understanding/empathy: A parent who makes an obvious attempt to understand the child's position makes the child more willing to share in the future.[29] Attention: Children will likely disclose again when they believe their parents are giving them their full attention without interruption[29] Appreciations: Parents who express to their adolescents that they value their disclosures encourage such to happen again[29] Respect: Children want to disclose again if they feel their parents take them seriously[29] Confidence in the child: Parents who express their trust in the child's ability to handle his or her problems will likely be disclosed to in the future[29] Trustworthiness: Adolescents will want to reveal information to their parents again if they trust that the disclosure will be confidential[29] Advice: If parents offer good advice and help for a youth's problems, he or she is prompted to discuss things with the parent later on[29] Reactions: Parents will often be told information from their children again if they keep their reactions to disclosures calm[29] Discussion: Children prefer to talk about their issues, so if adults are willing, children will likely open up to them often[29] Receptivity: Adults who consider arguments from the child and "hear him or her out" encourage these children to reveal their thoughts again[29] Results: If permissions for adolescents' wishes have been granted after disclosing in the past, the child is more likely to disclose in the future[29] |
About us|Jobs|Help|Disclaimer|Advertising services|Contact us|Sign in|Website map|Search|
GMT+8, 2015-9-11 21:55 , Processed in 0.143961 second(s), 16 queries .
